Related Devotional: "Decisions: Do I Do What's Right?"
After years of worrying over a broken relationship, God spoke to my heart through the Matthew 5:23-24 scriptures. He instructed me to go and make an attempt to reconcile with the person. I didn’t want to do it, and I gave God all the reasons why I didn’t think I should. I reminded Him of every previous attempt to reconcile that I had made and every good deed I had done.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long . . . (1 Corinthians 13:3-4 NIV).
For one whole week I felt a tremendous burden in walking toward the restoration of this relationship. All that week, I knew that I was walking in disobedience, because I hadn’t yet obeyed God’s instructions to go and make an attempt to reconcile.
After I couldn’t take the lack of peace any longer and after much wrestling, I finally gave in to the Holy Spirit’s nudging and chose to obey. Immediately after I settled in my heart to go, I felt a sense of great peace come over me. I then spoke these comforting words to myself with confidence and breathed a sigh of relief, “Well I’m glad this is going to finally be over and the relationship is going to be healed.’’
I said this because I just knew that God wouldn’t ask me to do something like this unless He was going to guarantee that the relationship would be healed. To my surprise, God spoke these words to my heart, “Suppose it doesn’t?” My confused response was, “Uhhh!” He then said these words to me, “I’m not going to go against a person’s will.” With this new insight, I now had two choices—to do what was right or not do anything at all. As I said before, God is not going against a person’s will (including mine). With much reluctance, and no Rhema Word or a guarantee of victory in sight, I opted to obey God’s instructions, in spite of the unsettling conversation I had with Him. I approached the person, trying to be very careful with my words, and my feeble attempts to reconcile were rejected—each and every one of them. The more I pressed, the more I was rejected. I believe God had given me a heads-up on what was going to happen in the previous conversation that we had. But even with the heads-up, the rejection still hurt. I left feeling more wounded, embarrassed, and defeated than ever. And yes, my pride was crushed. Nobody likes to look weak and vulnerable, and I hoped the person couldn’t see my tucked tail. When I got alone in the presence of God, I wanted what I felt was a much deserved answer from Him. With tears streaming down my face and feeling like I had just wasted my time and breath, I firmly asked God, “What was that for?” He spoke these words, “For that I give you my Kingdom.” I still didn’t quite understand. Then a portion of the scripture in Romans 14:17 came to me, “For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but righteousness, joy and peace.” What I needed back was my joy and my peace that had been robbed by the enemy because of the disunity in this relationship. When God originally spoke to me, telling me to go, He knew that this was the path for me to get there. As difficult as it was, I am so glad I obeyed, because He knew what I needed better than I did . . . .
(Book excerpt taken from pages 131 - 133 of Can’t Shout It Out! You Have To Walk It Out!)
Click to read the related devotional: "Decisions: Do I Do What's Right?"